


The Totally True Adventures of Thaddeus Venture, Super Scientist, and his <S>Bodyguard</s> Lover

by Missy



Category: Venture Bros
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Broken Bones, Crack, Egypt, Hotel Sex, Humor, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brock and Doc  Go on an Adventure.  Which, of course, turns out to be as screwy as they come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Totally True Adventures of Thaddeus Venture, Super Scientist, and his <S>Bodyguard</s> Lover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GypsyJr (HippieGeekGirl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HippieGeekGirl/gifts).



> Written for Becky!

It was supposed to be one little mission. Break into an unlocatable and possibly non-existent tomb before midnight, stop The Monarch from stealing the state’s jewels, and fly back home before the boys came back from their sleepover with Triana.

Those people, unfortunately, have never encountered the stupidity that tends to attach itself to Thaddeus Venture like flies attach themselves dung.

The problem du jour involved a rock puzzle and Doc’s endless frustration with it. He cursed loudly and slammed his fist into the wall.

Which resulted in the rock sliding out of the wall and colliding with his foot.

Doc sucked in a breath as Brock winced in sympathy, then knelt and tossed the stone aside. 

Moments ached by. “Brock?” 

“Yeah?”

“Are my toes broken?”

“All five.”

Another deep breath. “Okay. I’m going to pass out from the pain in a manly fashion. If I die from a clot, tell the boys an alien beetle sliced out my liver.”

“We killed them off a month…” Brock trailed off as Doc swooned backwards, in the not-quite-manly fashion he had promised – and face first into the wall beside him.

*** 

Brock slung Doc’s broken bones into a sling, and when he woke Brock shoved the mouth of a bottle of whiskey toward his mouth. “Drink, it’ll cut the pain.”

“And make me smell like a Lynard Skynard concert!” Doc grumbled. He sipped. Then slugged. Brock rolled his eyes and hoped he’d make his life easier, but no such luck. 

“Y’know, Brock, you’re so nice an’ warm….” Doc nuzzled the back of his neck. “And you smell really…good.”

“Not now,” Brock said, throwing ancient stones out of his way and crawling through an open tunnel. The chute took him to the main chamber, where the Monarch and his minions were failing heartily at trying to lift the artifacts in silence. The sight of Brock carrying the drooling Doc made their nemesis cackle with glee.

“YOU’LL NEVER DEFEAT ME, SAMSON!” shouted The Monarch, standing atop two fragile canopic jars. “I…Ow geez!” He stepped down and rubbed his toe. “Why are fossilized livers so sharp? Shouldn’t they put warning labels on these things?”

Brock let out a snicker. The pharos’ forearms would make perfectly good nunchucks….

 

**** 

Three darts to the neck later, Doc awoke in a grimy-looking motel room with Brock stripping off his 

“What the hell is…gah!” he scrambled toward the center of the mattress and tried to cover himself. “Why am I naked as a jaybird?”

“Monarch mixed up the poisoned darts with the love potion again,” Brock declared, stripping down. Doc’s jaw dropped as he stared in open-mouthed fascination at Brock’s body. “This is gonna be quick and dirty, but I’m lubed for action. Just bite my shoulder if it hurts.”

“Wait, what if I’m…” Brock tackled him to the mattress and the rickety bed collapsed beneath their combined weight. “Well, Mister, you’ve lost your…kitchen privileges….my God, Brock, to the right!”

*** 

Brock whistled as he wiped the blood from his machete. Doc toweled off his glasses and glared at the taller man. 

“Warn me next time you use a cherry bomb!”

Brock’s answer was a smug smirk and an even more obnoxious whistle.

*** 

They made it home two minutes before the boys came in through the back door. Brock was eating like an animal and Doc was sucking down coffee at the counter.

“Hey pop!” Hank said, scampering out of the room. But Dean pulled to a squeaking stop and just stared at his father. It made Doc uncomfortable enough to wonder if he’d accidentally underbaked this latest set of clones.

“Dad?” Dean asked.

“What, Dean?” he shouted.

“You’ve got beard burn on your nose.”

That observed, Dean skipped out of the kitchen, leaving Doc to sink into his own embarrassment.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This work of fanfiction uses characters from The Venture Brothers, which is the property of Noodle Soup/Astrobase Go/World Leaders/Cartoon Network/Williams Street. Infringement for monetary gain has not occurred, and this is a work of fanfiction intended for nonprofit use only.


End file.
